One of the greatest speeches in American history, the Gettysburg Address (re-enacted in the video above), took but two minutes to deliver. And yet a recent bride writing to an advice columnist mentioned that her future in-laws gave a 20 minute wedding ‘speech,’ a real no-no.
Even Martin Luther King’s iconic “I Have a Dream” speech clocked in under fifteen minutes!
Writing to advice columnist, Carolyn Hax of the Washington Post, the newly married bride lamented her in-laws’ lack of warmth towards her. You can read her entire story here. Here’s the part that got our attention:
“His parents’ speech at the wedding barely mentioned me and made me very uncomfortable. I was a mere footnote in its entire 20 minutes.”
This blogger has a few reactions:
Long wedding speeches are boring
- Note that she called it a ‘speech’ and not a toast. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, a toast is “an act of proposing a drink in honor of … something.” Like a wedding. Remember that when you’re asked to give a toast. These parents did not make a toast. They gave an oration, and if you’re not a Martin Luther King (and you’re not), avoid orations. As Carolyn Hax said, “Um. A 20 minute speech? At a wedding?”
- A toast shouldn’t be about only one person. True, the toaster may know only one member of the wedding party and focuses on what he/she knows about that person. But a good toaster brings it back to the couple. A good toaster remembers the mandate that a toast HONORS the couple.
- Never, ever, ever make someone uncomfortable, especially if that someone is your future in-law. We can only hope that the parents, to whom the bride refers in her letter to Carolyn, are merely insensitive and not intentionally injurious. Read the letter and make your own assessment.
So to recap:
- Don’t give a speech at a wedding. Make a toast. End it by saying, “Will everyone raise their glass and join me in honoring this wonderful couple! Cheers!”
- Keep your toast short. A few minutes. If Abraham Lincoln can do it in two minutes, why not you!
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